Fashionably Dead and Wed

I know I’m already mated…I wanna get married.
What do you
get when you combine a three headed monster named Charles, a rotund,
gay, dancing Demon named Doug, a culinary disaster baked by Mother
Nature, a celibate premarital councilor named Jeff, an offer from Satan
that’s impossible to refuse and Steve Perry?
You get the Royal Wedding from Hell—or to be more accurate—possibly in Hell.
All
I want to do is marry the Vampyre of my dreams with my closest friends
and family in attendance. Yep, I know nuptials in the undead world are
unheard of, but I’m still hanging onto my humanity if only by a thread.
Being mated is great, but getting married is important to me.
Tacky
invitations and cake that causes food poisoning aside, I also need to
deal with the stream of Demons entering my world from mysteriously
opened portals. Not to mention Angel Jeff is going to fail us on the
premarital test if we participate in any nookie before the wedding.
I’m
trying really hard not to go bridezilla on everyone. With five days to
plan the wedding, I have figure out who’s opening the portals and deal
with our hostile allies who think our wedding is a farce. It’s been a
very difficult week—especially the no nookie part.
All I know is this, I will say "I do" on Saturday even if it I have to go to Hell and back to accomplish it.